Single mother goes from tragedy to triumph..."It's never too late."

“Before St. Elizabeth Lodge, I had given up on possibilities of change,” Tameika says. “I thought I was too old and too damaged to have a better home, a better job, a better life.” Now, she hopes other women who are suffering will not be scared to do something different. “I want them to know they can also ask for help, and that it is never too late.”

At 45 years old, Tameika Clayton found herself in a very tough situation. She was stuck living in Fort Worth, Texas, in a horrific cycle of abuse and danger. The domestic violence in her marriage left her feeling isolated, alone and trapped. The mother of five says she often felt there was no way out. As the abuse escalated, she knew she had to take drastic measures for the sake of her youngest child, Kiari, who was still living at home. She had no idea what to do or where to go. All she knew was to turn to prayer, trust in God and have courage.

Her first step in this journey was to leave Texas. She says once she made this decision, “God started lining everything up perfectly.” Tameika contacted a domestic abuse organization and a caseworker swiftly arranged for transportation to Tulsa, far away from Fort Worth. Once here, they were dropped off at an extended stay hotel. Although grateful to have escaped their situation, they were not out of the woods. The emergency plan was to stay at the hotel, get a job and get Kiari in school. However, this was a temporary situation and not sustainable long term.

Tameika found a temporary job working for the City of Tulsa 311 Call Center and enrolled Kiari in school. Meanwhile, her teenage son, Josiah, decided to move in with them as well. Things were better, but every penny she made went to pay her hotel bill, food and the bare essentials. It was impossible to save enough money for stable lodging, and she had no time or support to process the trauma from Texas.

She said she would spend hours researching a better living situation while praying, “Lord, open a door, and open it now.” Before she knew it, her next step was revealed. While online, she discovered a place called St. Elizabeth Lodge, run by Catholic Charities of Eastern Oklahoma. On the website it read: “St. Elizabeth Lodge is a program for single moms and their children who are experiencing a time of transition and need a safe place to fall.” And that is exactly what she needed.

“I was broken down, and the staff built me back up.”

She applied to live at St. Elizabeth Lodge and soon was accepted into the program. After living in a hotel for seven months, she and her two youngest children were finally moving out. Not only would they be in a beautiful, safe, clean apartment, they would also get help from supportive staff to face past trauma and heal. “St. Elizabeth Lodge was a game changer,” Tamieka says, “I was broken down, and the staff built me back up.”

St. Elizabeth Lodge residents participate in various programs designed to prepare them for successful independence. Tameika participated in a savings program which allowed her to save up an emergency fund of almost $4,000. She also completed the Pursuit of Happiness program, which helped her mend her relationship with her parents.

“Pursuit of Happiness was a little rough for me because it required me to look at me. I felt that it was very much needed to bring about the Tameika that I am today,” she says. “Ready to dream again, head held high. I would tell anybody that it might hurt, but do the work. The work you do for yourself, you do for your children. Totally a game changer for me.”

Tameika says the parenting curriculum she completed in the program helped her grow as a parent. “It was totally applicable to where my children are.”

During her stay at St. Elizabeth Lodge, Catholic Charities’ car ministry was able to provide Tameika with a car that had been donated by a generous benefactor. She named the car Grace.

After ten months at St. Elizabeth Lodge, the three were stable and ready to live on their own, which they are doing quite successfully. Tamieka’s temporary job at 311 is now a permanent one and she is proud to be the Team Lead. Josiah graduated from high school and joined the U.S. Army and Kiari is preparing for the 7th grade. According to their mother, both children are thriving more now than ever. Tameika and Kiari recently visited their safe haven, reminiscing with the staff they now consider good friends.

“Before St. Elizabeth Lodge, I had given up on possibilities of change,” Tameika says. “I thought I was too old and too damaged to have a better home, a better job, a better life.” Now, she hopes other women who are suffering will not be scared to do something different. “I want them to know they can also ask for help, and that it is never too late.”

If you are a single mother facing difficulty in your life, please visit cceok.org/stelizabethlodge for more information.